It’s a day that I have contemplated about for a year and a half. Should I cut my hair off, should I let my relaxer grow out and let my natural curls just flow? Every time it was the moment to decide whether to relax it or not, I would cave in and get a relaxer.
I have debated and toiled with what I should do with my hair. I thought about letting it grow out and just transition and then cut it off, but I worried about how would I manage the two textures of my hair. For the last 6 years I have been texlaxed, which is a process of relaxing your hair, but not allowing the chemicals to stay on your hair for along, which allows your hair to keep texture, but your curl pattern is more relaxed.
The last time I relaxed my hair was December 2015, I wished I had not, I wished I would have just went with my heart and not have relaxed my hair. After that last relaxer I was slowly cutting my hair little by little, but I was really tired of it. I would be due for another relaxer this month, but in February I decided I would not relax anymore.
On Sunday, February 28, 2016, was the day I decided to cut all of my hair because I was just tired of dealing with my hair. I had watched so many YouTube videos of girls doing big chops and there hair was great, so this day I thought I could do it myself as well. Well, that didn’t turn out as great as I thought it was. My air was uneven, it looked a mess (I forgot to take a picture) and that’s when I realized I was not as good as a hair cutter than I had imagined. It was devastating. I went to look for a hair salon to fix this mess and no hair salons were open on Monday. Thank goodness one hair salon allowed me to schedule an appointment for Tuesday online. I was even more thankful that I had a wig to wear for Monday.
On Tuesday, March 1, 2016, I went to my appointment, I was a little nervous, but I was ready. It has been years since I had to go to a hair salon, I had become very good at taking care of my hair. At first the goal was to see how much hair I can have without cutting all my hair off. However, there were so many areas where there was a straight pieces of hair, so I made the decision. I said, “Cut it all off” I must say it was one of the best decision I have ever made. I felt so free. It was not just about the hair, but it was a moment for me to step out the box. Don’t be afraid to go against the grain, do something that scares you, do something different.
This year I made up in my mind I was completing the goals that I have left behind. I determined to go after my dreams and this one of those steps to keep reaching for that goal. If I cannot do the one small thing that scares me, would I honestly be able to do the one big thing that scares me. I love my hair and I am ready to conquer everything that’s ahead.